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Waking Dreamstate

by Flicker Vertigo

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1.
Summer 93 05:25
The sun rising and setting, And I can't keep up with the tides, Ten years in the blink of an eye So much has changed, Scared of my own age, Scared of things staying the same, Or my youth just slipping away Endless need to improve, Feels like I'll never be enough, But what's inherently wrong with being myself? All this time I've kept things inside, Not vulnerable enough to confide, But it's exhausting trying to constantly hide, An ego shielded by pride Sometimes I wanna, I wanna go back, Be back in my old habitat, But even home ain't like it used to be Lately my head is filled with noise, That drowns out the sound of your voice, Slowly slipping into the void I find myself lost amongst the clouds, Crystal clear to a haze of doubt, And now my head is fuzz and everything's spinning around This life's making less sense each day, Time rapidly slipping away, Every day looks the same, And I can't feel a thing It's all so complex and I don't know where to go next, But I can't sit still and swallow all of my dreams, Or this world will swallow me, I hope one day it'll all make sense
2.
I miss that feeling, I don't know where it's gone, But it's in here somewhere 'cause I tasted it last night, Back at that old place, crescent moon hangs in space, And I was just feeling so alive Through thunder, I was crawling, I dragged myself here, I made it, soaking, And I'm never going back But I miss the days where I knew where to go, Now I'm at the end of the path, I can only turn around, I look back, but everyone has gone, And that time's not coming back I sit here, I'm speechless, I breathe in the universe, November, am I dreaming? I can't believe this is real Oh my old friend, I miss you, Remember the days when we used to be so carefree? I'm walking through memories, They seem so crystal clear, These moments, they're precious, This waking dreamstate Waking dreamstate, Waking dreamstate, Waking dreamstate, Waking dreamstate
3.
Silently convey the secrets in your eyes, Rummage round the borderlines, blind till sunrise, Deny the symmetry, six months of star-soaked sighs, It feels different this time Under the surface dwells a distant daydream, Guess I'd rather live outside reality Staring blankly at oceans of doubt, The tide's too tough to turn it around, Wish I could've glimpsed how she flows amongst the crowd, But if I stand, the waves just beat me down Thought you'd flown away, then you board the Brunswick train, Transfixed, I'm amazed, her colours all greyed, Sealed your fate as just a face along the way, It feels different these days Just a stranger to me, Just a naive memory Staring blankly at oceans of doubt, The tide's too tough to turn it around, Wish I could've glimpsed how she flows amongst the crowd, But if I stand, the waves just beat me down, Staring blankly at oceans of doubt, The tide's too tough to turn it around, Wish I could've glimpsed how she flows amongst the crowd, But if I stand, the waves just beat me down
4.
Sometimes it feels I have nothing to say, No words to convey what's in my brain, Nothing, nothing, A million thoughts collide all day, But my lips stay still, it spills and strains, Empty, empty, Critical mind, analytical might, Trapped in time, bathed in light, Stifled, stifled, An endless parade of wordless refrains, Gurgle out an old cliche, Trapped energy, energy Today I opened my throat up, And the words spilled out of my face, Scared that this ocean's gonna swallow me, But I can't stay stuck on the shore Sometimes I can't stand the world's weight, Been trying in vain to numb the pain, Eyes glazing, glazing, Driving around in the dead of night, Searching for a feeling inside, Despondent, despondent, Even though I try and try, Can't even force out a cry, Crumbling, crumbling, And even though you say it's okay, I don't believe you feel that way, Will you still love me? Or leave me? Today I opened my throat up, And the words spilled out of my face, Scared that this ocean's gonna swallow me, But I can't stay stuck on the shore, Today I opened my throat up, And the words spilled out of my face, Scared that this ocean's gonna swallow me, But I can't stay stuck on the shore I haven't heard from me in a couple years now, Has it really been four years? This pressure keeps on building, Life's constantly racing, But my soul just wants to slow down, Wish I could be a stranger, To myself, To everyone else, To all of my doubts, To all the mess they've found, To this endless insomnia I've felt this before, Felt this before, Felt this before, Felt this before, Felt this before, Felt this before, Felt this before, I've felt this before
5.
Painting Polaroids in the clouds, Swirls of pink and baby blue, Breathing slowly with the wind, But it won't calm the cyclone inside of you There's a spark behind these tired eyes, Existing can be messy sometimes It was buried in my soul, I found magic in turmoil, Then she touched my soul, There's magic in her smile We're just tiny specks of dust (isn't life just so strange?), Worried what other specks of dust think (think I'll just enjoy existence instead), Being myself is my new thing
6.
Silhouette 04:31
Maybe we're naive, dreaming, But I don't mind, I've done that for my entire life, What difference does it make if we're not awake? If it feels just the same, then let our bodies sink Into the bottomless depths, Oh, the oxygen I'd sacrifice for a moment in your mind She flickers in the sunset, Absorbed in her silhouette, This feels like a dream, From the sweetest sleep, Don't wake us up yet Maybe it's reality hitting us like a tidal wave, Whispering boldly, why hide in the shadows? Her touch says more than words ever will, And it says we feel the same, so let our bodies sink Into the bottomless depths, Oh, the oxygen I'd sacrifice for a moment in your mind She flickers in the sunset, Absorbed in her silhouette, This feels like a dream, From the sweetest sleep, Don't wake us up yet, It never ends, She flickers in the sunset, Absorbed in her silhouette, This feels like a dream, From the sweetest sleep, Don't wake us up yet, It never ends
7.
Words fighting to free themselves, then they're swallowed, But they're written across your face, etched in unrest, Devoid of all the man's pride, your mind's in a landslide, holding on to a flicker in the fog, Sensing sensitivity, growing stronger I gazed into the eyes of my future demise, Realised life has its time, but now I'm alive Slip inside that crumbling sigh tumbling round those shell-shocked eyes, I've loved you for my whole life, and it's sending chills up my spine We used to kick the ball, now you've lost the strength to walk, Spending Christmas in a hospital, and I can barely talk And now I dread the rain, 'cause I can hear your pain-stricken sighs cascade across the cityscape Through squinted eyes, I gazed into the eyes of my future demise, Innocence pried, suddenly the sun's capsized, Cradling a fragile mind trapped inside, Realised life has its time, but now we're alive Slip inside that crumbling sigh tumbling round those shell-shocked eyes, I've loved you for my whole life, and it's sending chills up my spine, Slip inside that crumbling sigh tumbling round those shell-shocked eyes, I've loved you for my whole life, and it's sending chills up my spine You said you've "had it", I felt my hope erode, I'm still not ready, But it's not your time to go
8.
Rose Quartz 04:05
Her heart's a constellation begging to be seen, I'll be the invisible lines connecting in between, All its complexity and beauty hangs serene, real life shines like a dream, In your dripping eyes I see a sea of scars, Weathering a storm that clouds a sky of stars, But I swear that when the warmth returns they'll shine on you and me Don't be afraid, you're safe to expose your depths, I'll be right here with you for every step Stealing strides away from civilized life, As Pharoah Sanders sounds, cleansing spring's first light, Amongst the redwood trees we finally find the time and space to breathe in peace Don't be afraid, you're safe to expose your depths, I'll be right here with you for every step Remember the last full moon? It was made of pure rose quartz, With each shallow breath we took, It crystallised us to our cores Don't be afraid, you're safe to expose your depths, I'll be right here with you for every step, Don't be afraid, you're safe to expose your depths, I'll be right here with you for every step
9.
Quarantined 03:27
Even though you're quarantined, I'm feeling so relieved, Babe, we just got two more weeks, Just don't run out of groceries Looking through the peephole at your Air Bnb, If I can't eat dinner with you then I'll do it from the street, This family walking by must think I'm a freak, But pull up a chair, this is only the first week Maybe humans will start to see, What we really need is now out of arm's reach The humans have left the streets, Mother Nature can finally breathe, The animals start to thrive, Infiltrating our city life, Funny how that works Maybe humans will start to see, What we really need is now out of arm's reach Spreading way too fast, Touching hands through glass, All I want is your kiss, Wipe the Windex off my lips Maybe humans will start to see, What we really need is now out of arm's reach, Forget your money, forget your car, When the world falls apart, all you really want is love
10.
Woozy 05:12
We're trying oh so hard to forget about that time, We can't change it now, but we can start over, But what am I to do when I'm so wrapped up in you? It haunts me in my sleep, the way life could have been Feeling the heat of the sun as it fills us up with lust, Our shadows touched, Can't help but self-destruct I'm feeling woozy this month, Our butterflies have turned into moths, I'm losing control, And now I'm feeling human Looking up from the pit at myself two years ago, But he ain't got a clue what he's gonna go through, And when I close my eyes a little part of me dies, Makes way for the new buried within you Feeling the heat of the sun as it fills us up with lust, Our shadows touched, Can't help but self-destruct I'm feeling woozy this month, Our butterflies have turned into moths, I'm losing control, And now I'm feeling human But what am I to do when I'm so wrapped up in you? It haunts me in my sleep, the way life could have been Can't help but self-destruct I'm feeling woozy this month, Our butterflies have turned into moths, I'm losing control, And now I'm feeling human
11.
How can they really know you without even knowing your name? Why should you care about them at all? Self-consciousness is killing a unique part of you, Self-expression as a weapon to push through, Every second is a lesson that shows you that they can't control you I can't keep sacrificing myself to try and belong Feeling the world's eyes upon you, But those eyes are blinded and not even paying attention to you I won't keep sacrificing myself to try and belong, These vampires sucking our will to carry on, Feasting on the last remaining glimpse of your freedom, But even if I'm bitten and bleeding I won't be beaten A horde of people trapped in their heads, Sweating opinions every day until they're dead, Here's a secret: no one cares, No one's noticing the way you do your hair, They have no power, you're free, Their fangs aren't venomous, their status is make believe, 'cause I'm like you, and you're like me, So don't let them make you justify your dreams They turn to dust when you look away, Speak up, let your voice oscillate, When will it ever be enough to be ourselves? Find solace in raising eyebrows Disapproving nobodies, Irrelevant relics, Smirking serpentine, With their lovely little empty lives
12.
Neptuneage 01:06
[instrumental]
13.
Silent lightning upon the horizon, Exploding inside my mind, Everything you said ricocheting in my head, Now I feel this crushing sense of dread I just wanna feel like my life isn't on rewind again, But it's no secret we can't control everything Feels like I've lost a part of me amongst you, Rebuilding my old self, but my self-esteem's nowhere to be seen Blissfully broken, Scratched and bruised but filled with hope, You're the most confusing end to a dream, And now there's no going back to sleep I just wanna feel like my life isn't on rewind again, But it's no secret we can't control everything Feels like I've lost a part of me amongst you, Rebuilding my old self, but my self-esteem's nowhere to be seen You and I don't know where to go, You and I don't know how to be ourselves, Scared of the sound of my own voice, Speaking those words that I needed to say, It's painful enough as it is, So I don't think that we can ever be friends, I hope that I'll forget you soon, While holding onto the hope that you won't too Feels like I've lost a part of me amongst you, Rebuilding my old self, but my self-esteem's nowhere to be seen, Nowhere to be seen, nowhere, Nowhere Sitting here, sigh behind my lips, Waiting for apocalypse, I can feel a sense of hope, Here it comes, off it goes, I don't know what to say, I can't move or communicate, Can I go on? So afraid, To take a step in this new age, Scan the streets for a smile, Think it's gonna be a while, Sitting here, sigh behind my lips, Just me and our apocalypse

about

Waking Dreamstate. The in-between daydream state that exists where creation blossoms. Half awake, half asleep, tapping into that subconscious world beyond everything else.

LP number 5 from Flicker Vertigo comes after an almost 5 year wait. Waking Dreamstate brings together bursts of dream pop to fuzzy garage rock, hints of shoegaze and lo-fi house mixed in with an abundance of neo-psychedelic riffs, creating a tidal wave-like wall of sound. It's an adventurous ride of reverberant vocals, swirling guitars, sprawling basslines, roaring drums, blooming analog synths, and hazy clouds of flutes.

Waking Dreamstate is bursting with exploration, with a deep dive into nostalgia and self-reflection. It picks up where previous album Epiphany left off. If Epiphany represented the naive dawnings of a new life, Waking Dreamstate is the process of coming to terms with that new life, getting to the end of that cycle, and reflecting back on that chapter with new eyes and wisdom, as the seedlings of a new one begin growing all over again. Almost 5 years have passed since that last album, and half a decade of life and discovery is crammed into just under an hour of music. It's yet another time capsule of an album, and a deeply personal one this time around.

It revels in the in-between grey areas of existence and doesn't shy away when things get dicey. It's about allowing contradictory forces of positive and negative to coexist, throwing away black and white ideas of what it means to be happy, and the strength that comes through vulnerability when confronting the bumps of life.

credits

released October 8, 2021

Written, recorded, mixed & mastered by Nathan Nicholson
Artwork and design by Nathan Nicholson
Photography by Emily Nicholson

Music lived inside my mind since November 2016
Brought to life at FVHQ September 2019-May 2021

Thanks to everyone for their support and friendship over the years, you all shaped this album in a variety of ways: Courtney Curtis, Lachie Mansell, Dylan Corcoran, Jordi Creighton, Elliott Keen, Cade Harrison, Kessia Peterson, Barney Jackson, Sal Diaz, Ben Bray, Hannah Firth, Nick Freer, Peter Farnan, Skube Burnell, Cameron Frew, all the amazing bands and artists I've jammed with or played shows with over the years, and of course my family

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Flicker Vertigo Melbourne, Australia

Music to daydream to. Bursting with crunchy psychedelic textures, sun-dappled guitar hooks, blissed-out melodies fluttering overhead, and hypnotic, driving grooves, plus subliminal nods to dream pop, garage psych, krautrock, shoegaze and house bubbling upon the horizon and melting into the kaleidoscopic haze. A dreamy, cosmic, vertigo-inducing mixture that consumes you and transmits you skyward. ... more

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